I want to start by looking at what this question means. The Bible uses many words in describing God’s dealings with man, but it never uses the word fair. I think it is often used when people question God’s actions simply because they find it a more useful word (they can make it mean what they want), and that mainly because it is more subjective (and therefore less black and white) word than those the Bible uses.
So what words does the Bible use? Primarily three: justice, mercy and grace. Justice is to give a person exactly what they deserve, mercy is to give them less than they deserve and grace is to give them what they don’t deserve.
Now without any question to be “fair” should mean to act with justice. To give the person exactly what they deserve. And yet I’ve never met anyone who accuses God of being unfair who actually wants to see God give everyone exactly what they deserve. For what each and every person would receive if God simply gave us what we exactly deserve is instant judgment, and then eternal punishment – in other words instant hell!
Praise God that He very rarely acts with immediate justice. Rather His justice, even towards the worst unrepentant sinner, is still tempered with great mercy and amazing acts of what we call common grace. Every day He shows amazing mercy in giving them air to breathe, life and health to live, and towards those He calls and amazing grace in giving time to repent and the gospel whereby to be saved.
Exo_34:6 The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,
It is only when a person rebels throughout their life until their dying day and refuses to repent and trust in Christ that they are called to face God’s righteous justice.
So my very first answer to the question “So…is God being fair?” would be..NO! Not in the truest sense of what we should mean by that question. Praise God He is not giving people immediately exactly what they deserve. Praise God rather for His mercy and for His grace, for the present at least, that gives time to be right before God before facing His justice.